


i was looking for a hooker (when i found you)

by claritywithinspace



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 03:54:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8313049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/claritywithinspace/pseuds/claritywithinspace
Summary: “Even though I still have feelings for someone else and that could lead to breaking your heart?”





	

“Remind me how we ended up here again?” Lena asks, adjusting her bra straps before slipping her shirt back on. She knows how and when and why, but wants to relish in the answer.

The air smells like sweat and sex, and Alex is still reeling from the incredible body tingling high, trying to lower her breathing as she lays on her back against the torn, wet (probably needs to be disposed of) sheet underneath her. The question registers in her ears and she struggles to prop herself up on her elbows, mildly disappointed to see Lena almost dressed to leave.

“I happen to like a woman who is not afraid to use a gun and use it pretty well might I add.”

Lena catches her eye through the mirror and lets her gaze slowly travel the length from hazel orbs down to the sight of an excellent set of bare breasts moving with heaving breaths. Alex’s short brunette hair is as chaotic as the litter of almost bleeding bite marks and long trails of scratches that decorate her tantalizing skin. She looks as thoroughly fucked as Lena feels, and it fills Lena with pride at the memory of being able to transform the woman into a quivering, whimpering mess.

Lena makes her descent back over to the bed, not bothering to button up the shirt as she crawls across the bed to straddle Alex’s sheet covered hips. Her hands run themselves along the marked skin all the way down to splay across a deliciously toned stomach. Her lips brush teasingly along the shell of an ear and she smirks at the sharp intake of breath Alex takes in response to the bite she takes.

“There are a lot of things I can use quite efficiently.” Lena murmurs in a seductive tone that spikes another round of arousal through Alex’s entire body.

“Is that so?” Alex says barely above a whisper.

The muscles in her neck stretch as she leans up to trail a line of kisses and nips along Lena’s stomach before pushing the lacey bra out of the way, capturing a hardening nipple in her mouth. The action causes Lena to emit a small moan and Alex is quick to grab at her hips when she grinds down slightly, urging her to continue. The woman is effortlessly intoxicating.

“I could demonstrate a bit more,” Lena says, capturing Alex’s lips in a brief bruising kiss before breaking the contact with a forceful shove at Alex’s chest that causes her to flop back. “But unfortunately I have a company to run and you should get back to catching bad guys.”

Alex lays there stunned with the sudden loss of deliciously plump lips against her own and the comfort of extra warmth on top of her body as Lena is quick to retreat from the bed once more to finish getting ready.

“That is so not fair,” Alex groans, closing her eyes as she wills the annoyingly not-going-to-be-satisfied desire to go away.  
When it doesn’t she lets out a heavy huff, forcing herself out of the bed and into the confines of her bathroom for an early morning cold shower, ignoring Lena’s laugh along the way.

\----

For weeks Lena demonstrates more and more of her talents on Alex that always tend to leave her exhausted and sweaty and have a slight craving for more.

Except for now. Sure, they spent most of last night between fights of sleep coming together again and again until they couldn’t manage anything more than resting their heads on pillows. But, something has been changing between them.

“You could have anything with anyone you want and yet you choose to distance yourself from achieving a happy ending by having sexual encounters with someone you barely know on a personal level. Why is that?” Lena asks, legs tucked underneath in the chair as she sips on some coffee and watches Alex go through her morning workout routine.

“I assume if I were to say it’s due to complications you wouldn’t just leave it at that.”

“You assumed correctly. Though it is easy to tell you don’t normally let your guard down around just anybody, I would bet only Kara can get you to do that.” Lena takes note in the way Alex falters mid push up at the mention of her foster sister.

Alex recovers quickly, forcing herself to continue for a few more minutes before she sits back on the floor, accepting the bottle of water Lena gives her with a thankful half smile. “And you would lose because there is another person on that list.”

“Oh really. A special someone then?”

“Oh god, no, not like that anyways. He’s a family friend, and a good one at that.”

“I see. Well, you still haven’t answered my question. Humor me at least?”

“You know, I could ask you the same thing.” Alex stands, stretching her arms. “You’re determined and intelligent and outrageously beautiful but yet here you are roughing it up with a fuck buddy.”

“I am all of those things but when the wrongs of someone associated to you come out it’s like you are tainted and suddenly any chance of someone else willing to accept and stand by you becomes highly slim. My personal life is here because it has to be until I can make something good of myself away from the current Luthor name.”

Alex knows that Lena is an exceptional human being, and it infuriates her that she has to carry around the horrifying shadow of Lex Luthor.

“You don’t have to prove to the world that you’re good enough for love.”

Lena agrees with that sentiment. Hopes that someday someone with a great deal of logic and reasoning will be able to see it.  
“I think you should take a chapter out of your own book,” Lena tells her. She gives a quick kiss to Alex’s cheek before her departure. “I have to go but don’t think I’ve forgotten that you still owe me an answer.”  
With a wink, she’s out the door and onto the streets of National City, leaving Alex behind to absorb their conversation.

\----

Alex will explain it like this:

“I can’t be with the one person I fell in love with, even if by some kind of super miracle there was even the slightest chance they returned the feelings, which they don’t, it wouldn’t matter because I could never risk losing them if things were not to work out. That is why I keep ending up here, in these situations.”

Lena will counter with:

“Almost two months we have known each other and I never pegged Alex Danvers to be a coward.”

It’s a low blow right to her gut, harsh and unrelenting.

Alex slams Lena’s body into wall, pinning her to it with hands and hips. “You satisfied?”

Lena hums, pretending to consider her answer, grinning mischievously, “Not exactly.”

Later, as Lena leaves a sleeping Alex behind, she’ll linger by the doorway so wanting to wake her up, say some stupid, wonderful things.

Things like:

Maybe in the beginning this was only about sex, but now this has become something. Friendship, romance, whatever other possibilities there are, but just sex? Not anymore.

Or maybe even along the lines of:

If Alex somehow manages in deciding to not give up on a happy ending and move on then she knows where to find Lena.

\----

“Do you want to be with me?” Alex says, because a part of her needs to know.

Sometimes she catches Lena staring at her out of the corner of her eye and it’s so calculated, those intense green eyes going over every fraction of her face as if Lena’s trying to commit it to memory. Sometimes Alex stays the night at her place under her request, sometimes they don’t even have sex, and Lena treats her less like a guest, more as if she’s lived there all along. Sometimes Lena acts like they’ve been dating this whole time.

“Am I actively pursuing a romantic relationship with you? No. Still, this is no longer only sex. I happen to enjoy the time we have shared together, and if that’s where you want it to lead then I will be on board to try.”

Of course Lena would be.

There’s an appeal to Alex that she can’t quite shake. Though, there’s more to it than that. The woman has effortlessly sunk herself into the depths of Lena’s soul.

“Even though I still have feelings for someone else and that could lead to breaking your heart?”

“It’s all a risk, Danvers. Besides, I don’t mind playing dangerously with you.”

In the end, they don’t progress as more than what they are. Alex tells her it wouldn’t be worth it. Lena highly disagrees.

\----

Lena figures it out. That it is Kara that Alex can’t seem to stop wanting. She had laughed at the surprise on Alex’s face when she called her out on it. There’s no subtlety in the way she gazes at Kara.

“She wanted to be with James.”

“And if I recall correctly, I was told she doesn’t know what she wants now. Give her an opportunity. You just might be surprised with her choice.”

“You talk too much,” Alex grumbles.

Lena wraps her arms around her neck. “Care to shut me up?”

Alex fails at it, but not without effort.

\----

“I don’t know why I put up with you,” Lena tries to argue, dodging the oncoming assault of beer caps Alex flicks her way.

That isn’t entirely true.

She keeps Alex around for many reasons. The conversations and the fun and how she makes Lena feel not alone. All things good.

They end up at some whole-in-the-wall bar that Alex claims is more laid back than most of the other places she used to frequent. Lena had sat quietly, far from being judgmental, as Alex told her one day about the downward spiral she experienced not that long ago; the urge to get alcohol to numb the pain she felt.

“My irresistible badass-ery,” Alex smirks in the way that Lena isn’t sure she wants to slap off or kiss away. “And the multitude of mind-blowing orgasms thrown your way.”

“Yes, that must be it.”

Lena decides not to bring up the fact that she actually hasn’t received the chance for another orgasm in four days. She doesn’t have to bring it up because obviously Alex already knows that. They haven’t touched each other within that time other than a few hugs and the occasional friendly slap to a jean clad ass.

“I thought about what you said a while ago about me being a coward,” Alex says, eyes downcast as she picks at the label on one of the bottles and Lena can see the disgust on her face at the word.

Lena has to interrupt Alex before she can go any further, because maybe at the time she meant it but, “I think you are one of the most stubborn people I have known to this day, but I don’t really think you’re a coward. How can I when you spend each day never wavering from being there alongside her, allowing yourself to feel that overwhelming ache in your chest, just to make sure she doesn’t lose your or herself along the way. Now that’s bravery.” She slides her hand to cover one of Alex’s, smiles when Alex flips over her own and squeezes just a little. “Sometimes people just need assistance.”

“You weren’t completely wrong though, which totally pisses me off and that’s why I’ve decided to tell Kara the truth.”

“It’s about time,” Lena says seriously because it is, because she’s been getting a little more than frustrated that Alex – strong, beautiful, worthy Alex – who holds tightly on to the edge of life’s wickedly cruel cliff with cracked, bleeding hands, hasn’t given herself the chance of obtaining the one thing in this world she has longed for.

\----

“Are you busy?”

Lena is quick to glance up at the intruder to find her assistant looking rather panicky in the background as Alex strides forward and flops into a seat in front of the desk. Waving her assistant back off to work, Lena runs her eyes over Alex. There’s a hint of red around her eyes that makes Lena believe she must have been crying before she got there, but her body portrays a bit of relief.

“Not with anything important like running a company.” Lena’s sarcastic tone is to be met with a classic eye roll, much to her own amusement. 

She stays seated, watching with a perfectly sculpted raised eyebrow as Alex pulls out a pint of liquor from the inside of her jacket and pours a decent bit into Lena’s coffee before taking a few large swigs straight from the bottle. “I’m assuming it didn’t go well then.”

“She’s not for sure if the feelings on her side boil down to wanting to be with me,” Alex mumbles, eyes averted.

“So, you’re waiting then.”

“I have been for the majority of the past twelve years.”

Lena raises her cup towards Alex, a genuinely hopeful smile on her face, “To just a little longer.”

Alex clinks the bottle against the mug with a slight nod. If she stays there longer, boots propped up on the desk, stays and drinks and lets a soft silence linger between them, Lena will not usher her out. And if she empties most of the bottle into her system, ceases her mind from over thinking by falling asleep in the chair, Lena will use her lunch break to help her stumble out of the building and drive her towards home.

Alex tries her hardest to keep herself together but there are times where she will end up a chaotic emotional mess. Those are the times she needs someone the most. Those are the times Lena, just as Kara always has, refuses to shy away.

\----

“I take back you being intelligent. In fact, you’re a fucking idiot.”

The hospital room is cold, the IV in her arm uncomfortable, but neither is as bad as the covered wound right below Lena’s clavicle, so close to the organ keeping her alive.

Alex paces the room, furious at the reason for being here. The DEO were trying to save Lena from another threat. It wasn’t supposed to be the other way around and she can’t look at Lena in the bed without feeling guilty, feeling as if she failed, because the bad guy might have been taken down so did the one she was trying to protect.

When Alex closes her eyes it all comes rushing back to her. The weight of Lena collapsing into her arms. Lena’s shaky, fleeting breaths as she looks up to Alex with green eyes full of shock but strong satisfaction. The blood, so much blood pouring from her chest to paint the ground, drenching Alex’s hands that tried to stop it.

Alex’s heart had lurched in her chest at the sight because she is expandable but Lena certainly is not.

“I mean diving in front of a bullet, really? You’re not invincible.”

Lena’s voice is firm, unwavering, “Neither are you.”

“I swear if the next words out of your mouth involve taking a ‘risk’ I’ll give you another reason for more stitches.”

“Sounds tempting.”

Lena teases. Alex glares.

“I don’t approve of your methods –”

“That seems to be very hypocritical of you considering your methods include the same idiotic danger as mine.”

Alex practically growls, “My job is to protect people.”

It would have been a perfectly truthful excuse that Lena would have accepted if Alex could get it ingrained in her mind that even so it doesn’t give her the right to not care about her own well-being enough to disobey orders all the time. She needs to understand that she can’t just project herself into someone’s life, so deep and so real, and expect people to sit by and watch as she tries to destruct.

“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be protected too.”

Alex slightly deflates then, hazel eyes shining with a softness reserved for the ones she cares for. And she does, care for Lena that is. There’s no way she could ever get that out of her system.

“Let me guess,” Lena asks as Alex carefully climbs in next to her on the bed, welcoming her with a tiny, teasing smirk light enough for Alex to not get riled up again. “I’m still an idiot?”

Alex curls around her, fingers brushing the gauze on her chest. “I’m glad you agree.”

\----

It happens on a Friday while Lena is sitting at home alone, refusing to let the shooting stop her from at least making important calls and doing paperwork since she can’t exactly work at her office while still in recovery.

Her phone chimes with a text message and she picks it up off the bedside table next to the bouquet of flowers and an adorable little stuffed animal giraffe that the Danvers brought to her the day she was released from the hospital. She couldn’t decide which was cuter at the time: Alex with a stern face as she handed over the flowers, or the way Kara’s whole face lit up, brilliant smile and wrinkles at the corner of her eyes and scrunched up nose, as she made a dramatic introduction for the little giraffe she placed in Lena’s hands.

The text is a simple photo of Kara asleep on Alex’s chest, hand curled tightly around the material of the older woman’s shirt right above her heart, a tiny smile at the corner of her lips. Alex has rested her head against long blonde hair, holding thumbs up to the camera and Lena can’t decide which is brighter, the full genuine smile gracing her lips or the sparkle in loving hazel eyes. If they were anyone else, Lena would classify it to be nothing more than a simple photo of two people who cared deeply for each other having a nice lazy day, but they’re not just anybody and they certainly aren’t simple, and her eyes start to tear up because she knows what it means, because Alex looks so happy and in love and carefree and god that is all Lena has ever wanted for her to be.

She sends back a thumbs up of her own with the little giraffe in the background and decides to call it a night. With a moment like that she considers her work to be done for the day.

\----

Lena returns to L Corp before she is completely healed, against a very upset Alex orders. The pain is tolerable enough for her to get back to the things she’s been trying to accomplish with taking the building over. She can’t just let her own reckless decisions keep her away, even if that means hearing an earful about safety and the healing process over dinner with the oldest Danvers sibling.

“Kara. Isn’t this a nice surprise.”

And it is, for sure. She likes Kara’s company, her positive outlook living on planet filled with so much cruelty and hate, how it’s comforting to share just a smidge of understanding on knowing what it’s like to be brought into a family not blood born, to try and find a home within it.

People like Kara are hard to come by, very rare to find such unabashed, selfless, good in a single being and she doesn’t have to wonder a great deal why Alex would take on the whole world to keep safe. Lena could see herself doing the same one day if it ever came down to it. She thinks Alex would like that as long she didn’t end up with another bullet in her, or worse.

“Just thought I’d drop by and see how you are holding up,” Kara says, adjusting her glasses with a worried expression. “Alex isn’t too pleased about you going against doctor orders.”

“Yes, I suppose she isn’t,” Lena inquires, lips spreading into a genuine smile. “Though I am doing much better. Thank you for your concern.”

“No problem, anytime.”

Kara continues to stand there wringing her hands together, bottom lip tucked between her teeth. A little crease between her eyebrows, notifying Lena that the other woman is running something through her mind, probably trying to figure out how to say what is clearly bothering her in a way that won’t blow up in her face.

“Is there anything else?”

“Oh, um, well -” Kara tugs at the collar around her neck, looking like she might just burst with whatever it is. Then she does, words tumbling out quickly, “Alex had told me the role you played in getting us together, and I know what went on between the two of you, with very minimal description, thankfully, and of course the people that get to know her are inevitability bound to fall just a little for her, because I mean, come on, she’s without a doubt incredible – and I’m rambling.” Kara cuts herself off, blushes a deep red. “I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate what you’ve done for us, and for taking care of her so well.”

Lena’s more than pleased that if she has to lose her chance with Alex to someone that the brunette’s heart ended up in the delicate but strong hands of the woman who has a bigger one than all of them.

“Coming to you about her feelings was really hard for her to do, probably the hardest moment in her entire life. Please, don’t screw it up.”

\----

“It’s three in the morning. You should be getting your beauty sleep.”

“Sleep is for the weak,” Alex mumbles into the receiver.

“Is everything alright?” Lena asks, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“Open your door.”

“I’ll make it a note to tell Kara about your late night booty call request.”

“Shut up and just do it.”

Lena groans as she slips out of the comfort of her bed, feet padding over to the front door, but when she does open it no one is there. She’s confused and on the edge of being pissed off, about to make sure Alex knows that too, when she spots a little black box on the floor.

Inside rests a gold heart with two silver guns in the middle. It’s not an expensive piece but one of a kind. Alex had it specially made.

Lena’s breath hitches, “It’s lovely.”

There’s a beat of silence over the phone as she brushes her thumb across the necklace. She knows Alex wants to say something. She needs Alex to say something.

“I hope I didn’t hurt you too bad,” Alex whispers, voice tinged with a bit of regret.

It makes Lena want to cry.

“You’re getting the happy ending that not only did you want but what you deserve. That makes it hurt a little less,” Lena speaks with truth. Still, “I’ll wear the quiet sadness with honor.”

“Someday you will get yours to,” Alex’s words are full of promise. “I’ll make sure of it.”

Lena does cry then, slowly and softly, because knowing Alex Danvers has truly changed her life.

“Goodnight, Alex.”

“Goodnight, Lena.”


End file.
